Tuesday, December 29, 2009 @ 1:19 PM
Was so worried that kelly services wont call me up for contract signing. But they finally called ! haha, but not yet ready. Hmmm. Anyways, did a lot of thinking through..and i've decided to put some things down, i would say.. burden & hatred..
Looking back, there's alot of things which I wished I didnt do, I wished I did. But well, it's all over.. so what can I say? I shouldn't regret, but I should do things to make up for it, and make sure I wont look back and say.. I should have done this.. blah blah blah?
So.. I've decided to type in this space which not much ppl read them.. and put everything behind..
I remembered in Sec school days how much I've gave up just for you (you know who you are), I remembered you telling me "thank you so much, you still go recess with me even when I scolded you" ...
So many things happened in between and I can still list out one by one because I've yet to put everything.. Do you remember everyday I would call you and bitch with you about our new job? And do you remember that you quarrelled with me just because I didn't send you to bus stop when you came to my house? AND do you remember that I skipped school and go to your house everyday just to do self study with you?
Yes, I thank you for motivating me to study. And in the end, when we were back to get our O's results, do you remember that we had an agreement that we will congratulate whoever who got better results and celebrate? Yes, of course you thought that you would do better than me like you always did ! But I scored better than you by 2 points and you broke down and cry.. Yes, of course, we didn't go celebrate in the end...
Then do you remember that we would hang out everyday in school, and I would take bus 81/39 with you even when I've got a straight bus home?
YES, and you told me you regretted leaving your clique just to be with me. BUT HEY, I sacrificed "K" and rest to "be with you" alright? Art classes, you like to sit one corner, but I always loved sitting with the rest and I gave in. Yes, it wasn't easy to be close... Yet you blew it off.
Remember when we just got into Poly? You met me everyday after school because you couldn't click with your classmates.. But when you got close with them? You "ditched" me away? Well, maybe im not that FASHIONABLE, HIGH CLASS or whatever as you.. Thats why...
Then came the tattoo thing, then you didn't listen to anyone's explainations? fine, i gave up..
that happened 1 year ago.. and till now...
yes..
Seriously,
i hate you for disrupting my life.
i hate you for making me go thru so much in sec sch.
i hate you for making me sacrifice so much.
i hate you for making me feel so small.
i hate everything you did.
but not anymore.. hating someone is tiring,
just like now..
if there's a chance to be friends with you again,
i would..
but maybe... it's never the same anymore.
Maybe you still hate me,
so be it...
I may sound childish here.. but really, its time to let go.
wait till i find that chance, i will let you know that your cert is still with me..
:)
